Teaching Cloud
by Sirius Dogstar
Summary: Cid finds his spear mutilated with a pink CS and starts going after a certain Cloud for revenge in ways not humanly possible...


Well it seems to me that my Teaching series has been wildly popular. I have heard things like I fell over in my chair to "I laughed so hard my parents thought I was crazy!" Anyways, I decided to make it a series to show my appreciation. So here you all go, the third installment.  
  
Teaching Cloud  
  
By Sirius Dogstar  
  
Aeris walked over to Cid, who was sitting in the corner even more red faced than usual. She can tell he was steamed, even without looking at the murderous glint in his eyes. "What happened Cid?" she asked, shoving an amber lock from her eyes.  
  
"This," Cid muttered, pulling a long spear from where he had hidden it. The normally ornate but ordinary spear was painted a bold pink, with huge purple letters saying "To Cid from CS."  
  
"Oh," Aeris said, trying hard for Cid's sake not to laugh or even giggle. "Any idea who did it?"  
  
"Who do you think?" Cid demanded. "It was that damn pansy ass Cloud!"  
  
"How do you know?" Aeris asked, noting how hastily Cid put his spear away.  
  
"Think about it! CS! Cloud Strife!" Aeris nodded.  
  
"Yeah... you do have a point there. So what are you going to do about it?" Cid smiled, and Aeris could only wonder what the old pilot was plotting.  
  
"I am going to teach that bastard a lesson he will never forget!"  
  
"Morning everyone," Cloud said with a yawn as he strolled out of bed.  
  
"Morning," Cid said amiably. (Just that should have tipped Cloud off for Cid was not known as a morning person!) "It's your turn to get us breakfast you know."  
  
"Okay! Be back in a jiffy!" Cloud replied, almost bouncing out the door.  
  
'That's what he thinks...' Cid thought watching Cloud as he left. Cloud was only a block away from the store when hw found himself punched in the back of the head. He turned around to find smiling Turks, noticing how Rude was waving a fist.  
  
"That was hardly fair..." Cloud muttered as he rubbed his head. "How did you find me?" Reno smiled, brandishing his electric rod.  
  
"We have our connections," he replied with a shrug. "But don't worry, we are not here to kill you."  
  
"That comes later," Rude added, which gave him a nod from the others. Before Cloud could even get his blade out Reno shoved his weapon into a certain location I cannot name. Cloud of course fell unconscious.  
  
"Why did you do that man?" Rude asked.  
  
"I've always wanted to do that to someone... and he was there you know..."  
  
When Cloud opened his eyes again, he found a beautiful sunrise there to greet him. 'Have I been out that long?' he asked himself, making a mental note to buy a codpiece. But there was also something else, a pair of reddish brown eyes he knew.  
  
"Are you okay Cloud?" Tifa asked as she helped him get to his feet.  
  
"He's fine," Cid said before Cloud could even speak. "But I don't think that his hair is..."  
  
"What do you mean Cid?" Cloud asked, reaching up to run his fingers through the normally thick blond mass. All he came across however was skin. "My HAIR!" he screamed. "What happened?"  
  
"I found you out here and it was already shaved off," Cid explained with a shrug. "A cruel prank I guess. Use this." Cid handed Cloud a hat, which the warrior hastily set on.  
  
"Thanks," Cloud said, but in his rush he did not notice where the hat said "Insert brain here," in bold white letters. It incited giggles from Tifa, but Cid quickly quieted her.  
  
"I will go and get breakfast today," Cid offered. "Tifa you take Cloud back to the hotel so he can rest."  
  
"Okay," they both replied. Cid nodded, and proceeded to the store.  
  
"Time for phase two..." he said to himself.  
  
"I'm back!" Cid said as he entered the house. "I also bought us all some armor so you guys can consider that desert!" He divvied out the plates, and then sat down to eat his own. Aeris noted that instead of sitting by Cloud at the head of the table like usual, the old pilot ate at the opposite end. With good reason too, for after the first bite that Cloud ate he screamed out "WATER!" and ran for the sink.  
  
Everyone laughed as they watched the spectacle, with Cloud gulping down as much water as he could drink. But it was not long before the look on Cloud's face changed yet again. "BATHROOM!" he screamed.  
  
"What exactly did you put in that," Aeris asked, nudging Cid gently in the side.  
  
"Oh a little Tabasco sauce here, a dash of exlax there. Nothing much really." Aeris just laughed harder, even though now she felt sorry for him. Was Cid even yet? Apparently not, for Cid got up to "comfort" Cloud in the bathroom.  
  
"Cheer up Cloud," Cid said with a sheepish grin. "I got some cool armor today!" Cid handed Cloud an armlet, before setting one on himself. Cloud noted it was a tad different, but he did not comment.  
  
"Thanks Cid," Cloud said as he slid it on. "You have been so..." but he stopped, yelling out "ITCHY!" and scratch both arms furiously. Cid could not help himself... he broke out in laughter.  
  
"What's so funny Cid?" Cloud demanded as he marched out of the bathroom fuming.  
  
"You have been shocked, shaved, and then duped. Then you ate spicy food, diarrhea, and were itchy all in the a weekend! Now we are even!"  
  
"Even? Even for what?" Cloud demanded.  
  
"You know what Cloud! A little pink paint on my spear..."  
  
"Actually Cid... that was me," Cait said from the corner. "You know... CS. Cait Sith."  
  
"WHAT?!?" Cloud and Cid yelled out together.  
  
"Uh... I think that you had better run," Red said with a smile.  
  
"I think I will," Cait said. "Run Mog run!"  
  
"You are so on your own," the Mog said, setting down the cat who began to run with all of his might.  
  
"COME BACK HERE!!!"  
  
THE END  
  
So what do you think? I know I was a little mean to Cloud but he was next on my list. Anyways, ideas, suggestions, and any sort of review, feedback, or even letters are begged as always to siriusstar13yahoo.com. If you liked this please read some of my other works (listed below) and leave me a review!  
  
Teaching Series (In order)  
  
Teaching Aeris Teaching Cid Teaching Cloud  
  
AVALANCHE Series (In order)  
  
Final Flight A Leap of Faith For Myself, for the Planet  
  
Other  
  
A Reason to Fight A Tail of Sorts Bigger is Better Turk's Night Out A Day at the Beach A Word of Love 


End file.
